Thursday, December 30, 2004
tml is the last day of 2004!!!
it is a really bad year..
but one major event n 2 good things happened...
i met my teammates n i met them!the 8 of them...:D
had frenly with nanyang today..i went to my OLD school with anticipation..yet dreading it as if i wish i dun hafta go..n true enuff..i played horribly on the first set..2nd set was not good either..but din play..we were too luan!..gei bie renqian zhe bi zi zuo...i was pretty affected by something i guess..it took me awhile to start to get my confidence n morale back..thanks for having weird teammates..hahah...well after e whole thing..
i was very very very she bu de about something.. cant bear to leave the 8 of them behind...it's different when u go to a different school..i cant threaten wei n say dun bring her to school nemore..i cant bully sheen n suff n zhi nemore..i cant get excited over mabel chia with jerr nemore..i cant poke ting n sharon nemore..n i cant laugh at kai nemore.. it's like different?cant every recess go find them n da qiu already..cant every time haf probs n run to some already..n cant see them doing stupid stuffs n got punish agn..so while having frenly..i was like hoping the rally will go on n on n on n on n on..so tat the match will nv end n it'll forever be stagnant.. but guess leaving pple tat u love n treasure alot are parts n parcels of life.. i miss them alot now..maybe a little too much...they've brought to me joys laughters tears n stupid ideas.. the unity i see in them are in actual fact something tat i long for in my own team..but i've also learn i should not expect things from pple..but wad i can gif others... :D thanks for everything MY LITTLE ROYAL FAMILY... n i love u all from the bottom of my heart... remember...anytime u need someone..u can come n find ur huang di ok? i'll always be here de.. really.. n u all will forever be in my heart...
today yoong,chin,jas,qi,orchid can to my house for steamboat..it's a sort of celebration for new year n xmas..(abit late i guess..) n we enjoyed ourselves...actually watch sharks tale..but den in the end turn out...everyone is eating n NO ONE IS WATCHING...BLINK u all!hahaha...waste my electricity!but den it seems like i'm the one who refuses to off the tv...hahaha... u may ask y cheryl,sam,milk,rox,iona are all not here..i shalt gif a little summary!cheryl got a long story..(actually not tat long..)sam got some physical barrier..(shalt not disclose!)rox went for primary school gathering!!(blink n bite u!)iona went malaysia...(aiyo..take care la!)n milk!!!!here comes the big story.... she was injured..dislocated her knee or something..but i hope it wont be so serious!she say she hurt "tak" when she's in mid air!den the next ting we know she "OUCH!!" n lie on the floor...haha..den being funny she decided to slowly exercise her leg...n den the next ting we know she was bouncing abiout saying it was ok.. we din finish the match with them la...quite sad... but nvm..i tink everyone enjoyed themselves!
bye bye 2004...WEEEEEEEEE 2005!
n my
new year resolutionswill be ......... get
CHAMPIONS! n stretch myself to the fullest!! achieve OUR target n reach n overtake my GOALS!..n be a better person...:D
my blood dried @ 9:00 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
this few days was actuallykinda busy... :D
sunday went ikea to buy present for pple...
monday trg with nanyang den eat at coro den went ikea n queensway!!n i bought a HARRY POTTER CD THAT CANT BE PLAYED!piang!*slaps!
yday had frenzly with woodlands ring sec... den went to eat n shop around... den me is the went malaysia..wow!
this few days haf been dreaming about weird stuffs...keep dreaming of my diao man sun nu...so scary...told her not to haunt me liaoz..but she still insist!haha... but the scariest of all was a dream i had yday... it juz totally remind me of the PAST...but the characters inside is not krystal, but changed to SOMEONE... storyline still the same...i woke up in cold sweat.. n den i suddenly very scared of HER..actually wanted to msg her...but i changed my mind... i realized i dun even wanna see her at all... gives me the creep.. juz cant help keep tinking about the dream...its that kind when u look back at the dream ur heart still ache kind... conclusion: this dream was the scariest i've ever dreamt of... n it'll take me sometimes to even wanna see her....
n i hafta update my blog more often!so that i wont be like now...actually got lotsa things to say...but it turn out that i've got too many things to say till i dun wanna say!hahah...
my blood dried @ 1:46 PM
Thursday, December 16, 2004
suddenly feel like a drifter...like doesn't belong anywhere...well....
hahha....but....nvm...
wherever i go...
i wanna make myself useful for the team....
n achieve the goal....n the target i set for myself...
my blood dried @ 10:26 PM
when i found u, i found all the happiness that life can offer...when i found u, i found how impt it is to trust in commitment..n how wonderful it is to share heartfelt moments with someone so dear to u that u cant imagine life without them..i found strength in companionship n how necessary it is to be able to lean on someone in times of need...i found wad it feels like to support someone's hopes n to appreciate building new dreams together... i found contentment in realizing that 2 people can be open n honest with each other without having to pretend or see eye to eye on every subject..i found how special it is to accept a person for who they are n what they can bring to ur life in expected n unexpected ways.. i found that the greatest gift anyone can evergif to another person can only come from the heart, BECAUSE WHEN I FOUND YOU...I FOUND LOVE...(but too bad..i dun tink YOU will ever know this...)
i hafta announce this~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i saw xiaowei look alike today!!!!!!!!almost went mad with happiness?!?!?!well not coz i like her coz she look like xiaowei...but is coz she looks like xiaowei which brings back
B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L memories of the times when i saw her in competition!xiaowei ahhh.....*mesmerize...hahha...n i keep pushing sheen to help me get her no. but den kai offered to gif me her no. coz she haf...but i readily declined...coz i say..wanna know someone muz be sincere...muz go ask her personally...but...but.... I DIN!!!:( din haf the courage too...not at that time when the whole world is there?!but...XIAOWEI LOOK ALIKE!!*went mad!!hahaha
juz came back from coro with shann,ting² n my diao man sun nu!ah!how frustrating when u haf a VERY DIAO MAN SUN NU!goodness gracious...we juz practically quarrel over NOTHING all the way...n she get amused SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO easily that she'll start to treat my knee cap as a vball n try to SPIKE it!dear readers...do u sense the frustration within?!but it was really fun...n shann juz remind me of kai..coz she keep going..."i feel like eating chicken chop!!"den awhile ltr she'll go..."i wanna eat mee RUBOS!"(that's how she pronounce that)..lastly she said"i wanna eat fish burger...the fish burger here is SO NICE!!"..n the only difference between kai n shann is......kai only SCREAMS for the foods...whereas shann actually will EAT those stuffs!*shake heads..n all ting² do is taking stupid pictures of me n my sun nu with shann's phone!!n den laugh to herself...*incredible!hahha...
tml is trg!!wooooohooooooooooooo........y m i so excited about it all of a sudden?!maybe coz it's a friday n can beat ball<----(da qiu!)?!hope tml will be a good day...n bring the team really together...
n saw those pple that i love n care alot are actually happy together...i tink i can rest assured le... it'll be the same without me...hahha...at least they are happy!:Di'll make a wish for u all...n i hope u all with always always be happy together as a team... :D jiayou k?ni men ke yi de!
i dunno whether i made the right choice...n since SAJC say...no one is there BY CHANCE...i shalt trust in the Lord n believe in it... i hope it's the rite choice n i'll be happy there..God...bless me...
my blood dried @ 4:37 PM
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
but if i let u go..i will never know..wad my life will be holding u close to me...will i ever see u smiling back at me???
only left 20 days...
but it doesn't mattrer...
i smiled coz i once have it..maybe it's juz not fated ba..rite?
u care so much but pple juz doesnt...
make do with wad u haf lorz...
i haf loved n lost somebody...
thx for the smiles u all haf instilled in my heart..
i will nv forget all of u...especially the few of u...
maybe i asked for too much..
i dun wanna lost the passion for my ever so beloved vball...
but my faith n confidence haf all been taken away...
i wont gif up so easily...bounce back!n i will be beta!~*bounce bounce!
hhahaha....
my blood dried @ 1:40 PM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
"was thinking about writing about what had happened,however i didn't really want to talk about my problems now. after i got to my first sentence, i scraped the idea and decided to do something more discreet. i hate regrets, thats why i try not to look back at the paths ive chosen. no matter what, i know whatever road i take, the other choice would seem more appealing in the end -- call it human nature. updating this blog is sometimes really difficult, especially when i cant put into words how i feel. and most of the time, im thinking: what the hell am i talking about? im so tired of hoping; so tired of being nothing but a play thing to every person im with. i dont understand why some people dont take me seriously. i wish i could be more than that; more than some life size puppet for someone else to control. like a puppet, im nothing without someone holding on to my strings; im too dependent on people and i hate myself for that.people who know you on such a basic level always try to lend you a helping hand when you're in need, but you don't usually accept their help because you don't know them,even though you truly appreciate it.its like a .. courtesy thing;you don't overweigh their own load with yours. then you fall into this whirlpool of self pity and self hate; i'm falling, i'm drowning;and the worst thing is, no one can save me except for myself"
got the extract from someone's blog...
i din know it all comes back in a circle...
never knew i'll feel the same way as u do...
but maybe coz we're all human?
to God:
i'm tired alright?i tried..tried really hard...but everything to no avail..isit wad u mean by trials?den y dun i see the others facing it too? it's like i jumped over 1 hurdle..the next one is juz rite in front of me.. with no time to rest...when will the race ever end? pls dun create me, to see wad a fool i'll become.. i'm not as strong as u tink.. i haf faith in u, i put all my hope in u.. y...y muz u trampled on my hope EVERYTIME? if you hate me... tell me.. dun make me guess n start doubting myself whether i'm wrong agn...agn...n agn... i dun wanna everytime get this kinda treatment...
thanks....
i'm fine..
my blood dried @ 1:11 PM
Monday, December 06, 2004
dun ask me y i put that title..
i missed the farewell party..
sorry....
my blood dried @ 10:58 PM