Wednesday, August 31, 2005
2 days of blogging. woohoo!
had teacher's day celebration. trust me. its the most pathetic one i've ever seen. fun here and there but nothing compare to previous ones. the atmosphere is juz, wrong.
n i guess i feel out of place there. i dun care abt anything anymore. if that's how pple wanna treat pple den go ahead. u know wad? i dun gif a SHIT. pple were once special but if they wanna judge others juz by looking at things from the surface. they are not worth ur attention at all.
random. :) "wadeva that lift u up mite be the ultimate one to make u fall." how true.
had a dream. i dreamt of u. it was at a swimming pool (dun ask me y there i dunno either). crowded to the extent of suffocating. saw u amidst the crowds. chase after u, but u disappeared. not long after, went for lunch with a bunch of kakis, n saw u there. went over n said hi, n we actually hugged each other. smiled n sat down to talk. den someone came over n exclamed " wad is she doing here?! never expect myself to ever see u again......... but i miss u." den we hugged too. n she sat down to join us. how nice to reconcile. :) den me n u talked for really really long before we go to east coast together. talked abt everything under the sun. heart to heart i guess. n juz before i ask the impt question, u disappeared.
it had such a big impact on me, i cant get it off my head the whole day. wad does it mean? doesnt know. i will know in due time. i hope.
pple once said, i mite haf a strong front, but i haf a vulnerable character to pple that i actually care for. n normally when i care, i really care. then those pple will take me for granted. how true once again. den only when i gave up caring, they realized the impact i had in their lives n try to make me come back. sorry, feelings lost will never be the same again.
kbox is really fun. thank little girls. :) more next time k??
i fell too deep. all the talks we had. u can be totally truthful to me. n i will be towards u. haf anything to ask, juz ask. dun hide anything alright? if not, one day the doubts mite become misunderstandings. i'm stronger den u tink i am. at least i will try to be. everything are safe with me. coz u know u'll be safe ard me. i will do everything i can to protect u.
am i thinking too much or its really the way i tink it is?
everything seems to go wrong nowadays. n i mean seriously wrong. but all it takes is a smile from u n it sets everything right.
love is juz a word until u gave it a meaning.
till den.
my blood dried @ 10:16 PM
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
i'm a contented shit. trust me. little things made me happy.
:)
u've no idea how happy i was. din know how to react coz everyone were there. i know i looked emotionless. but that's my face i guess.
yes i'm damn surprised n happy.
thank u. :)
i know i summarized too much. but no words express my thots.
dilemma #01 - do i go beach tml or go back to sec sch?
dilemma #02 - should i buy that pair of NEW shoes? :)
dilemma #03 - wad in the world am i thinking?
i tink i'm turning weird.
that's not a new label. its me! :)
i love cha ye dan. for certain reason.
till den.
my blood dried @ 11:09 PM
Saturday, August 27, 2005
yes i did it ONCE AGAIN.
do i need to repeat the same mistake TWICE?
pulled the same ligament 2 times. how am i gonna ever recover?
but juz when i was at my most painful period.
she keep flashing in my mind.
n all i can tink about was, i need her.
maybe, juz maybe one day it'll turn out to be beta.
we'll talk. heart to heart and thrash everything out.
pretenting to care and ACTUALLY caring are very different thing.
i rather we be straight forward n tell each other straight then pretending to care for fear of hurting each other.
the most basic thing of any relationship is trust.
yet this is the thing we lack.
tell me everything is not a wrong choice.
i m stronger than i imagined i m. (i hope)
till den.
my blood dried @ 1:23 PM
Sunday, August 21, 2005
oh shit wad haf i done?!
did i juz read that?
i thot i told myself nv to read any?
one entry if enuff to confused me though.
ok now i'm confused. totally.
n u know wad. u touched my heart, my soul. wad makes u different, makes u beautiful to me. When i look at u, i see something rare, a rose that can grow anywhere.And there is no one I know that can compare. u don't know how u touch my life. all in so many ways. u taught me what love is supposed to be. i saw the little things that make u beautiful to me.
that wasnt sweet talking. i meant it from the bottom of my heart. as each day passed, i'm surer of wad i wan n how i feel. but i'm juz scared to try.
i juz hafta keep psycho-ing myself.
so much more to say but no words can express it. but i juz know. imu. i really do.
phone call! :)
till den.
my blood dried @ 10:56 PM
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
all my life.. i pray for someone like u..u're all that i ever wan.. u turned my life around u picked me up when i was down.. when u smile, everything will be alright.. i tink i'm a bastard.(random but true)
cant shake certain things away.
i've seen enuff of the world to know that u're all i ever wan now.
i spend each day here waiting for a miracle.
call me foolish.
promise it'll be the last time i'm like this.
i wont let myself repeat the same mistake.
i hafta start doing things that i OUGHT TO do..
till den.
my blood dried @ 9:28 PM